Relay for Life Kickoff

Tonight I am going to be making a speech at the Relay for Life Kickoff in Corning NY. The following is the speech I intend to give (So I will probably more or less do just that).
Hope it makes you laugh and cry ---

I was asked to speak tonight from the perspective of a survivor. What exactly is a survivor? Webster’s definition is as follows: “a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks”. Those of you who know me are aware that before my cancer experience I already considered myself to BE a survivor – having lost my father and then my first husband in a bizarre accident both before my 41st birthday. Then just when my life seemed to be “back together” I got thrown into the experience of a lifetime. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. What an experience it turned out to be. While I never wanted to be a part of this SURVIVORS GROUP what I learned during the last 12 months will stay with me forever – leaving me holistically changed. Here are a few of the most important things I have learned:
1. Cancer is not a DEATH Sentence – It’s a POST IT note to remember to live
· I read this somewhere and really liked it. Sometimes it takes something really scary, really tough to make us appreciate what’s going on in our everyday lives.
2. Balance is the key to life
· One of the strangest things about cancer therapy is all the STUFF they give you – and by that I mean STUFF like blankets and pillows, pens, etc. from the drug companies. One of the things they give out to all of us is a cookbook on balanced nutrition and how that helps during and after cancer treatment. Trouble is - NONE of those cookbooks tell you how to cook with CLAY though – and that’s what most everything you eat during CHEMO tastes like. The only thing I could taste was COLD and SWEET – CAKE AND ICE CREAM. That’s pretty balanced right? As long as you eat them together. Eggs, Milk, Flour…. Right? We had a friend in the chemo “lounge” that suggested that a balanced diet consisted of hohos in one hand and a Hershey bar in the other. THAT’S a cancer BALANCED diet. Sure do miss you Barb J
3. Life is hard but the alternative really SUCKS
· Cancer therapy has the unique ability to wipe away all that you have ever held as a truth. Remember before chemo thinking that you were so sick that you couldn’t ever feel any worse? Chemo changed that, right? Who would have ever thought that you would be glad to have ONE day that didn’t involve either DULCOLAX or IMMODIUM or both in the same day, feel relief that you didn’t need to take your temperature hourly, or that you’d actually be grateful to have someone get blood out of your chest. You couldn’t possibly know that the future would hold days so much better than the ones you were currently experiencing because you didn’t really know how awful you felt. You found out that you CAN and DID feel way worse than you ever humanly thought possible. BUT – you made it through. You battled every day with what strength you had and made it through.
· How many days do we get up faced with the challenges of what lies ahead in our day and forget to thank GOD for our lives, KISS our spouses and children, and fully appreciate what it means to be alive? CANCER changes that perspective and if you stay true to this new perspective, everyone around you will benefit as much as you. You learn that you can’t be so afraid of DYING that you don’t LIVE. Look around you - what can you do to help someone else? How can you get your story out? What can you contribute to someone’s day?
4. What’s on the left hand side of your personal ledger?
· Accountant’s know that’s where you record your assets. Cancer teaches you that the most important asset you have are your friends and family. Who else could you turn to that would put your underwear on for you, sleep on your couch overnight when you weren’t allowed to stay alone because you were too sick to care for yourself, bring you white cake from Crystal City Bakery when you had the most terrific craving that wouldn’t go away and make you a big kettle of homemade soup every time you went in for chemo. Your family and friends become the most gifted guardian angels of all time. Without them – you’d be lost. And then – then came the new friends….the other women in the chemo lab who shared their inner most fears with you, the staff at the Cancer Center –ready and willing to do whatever it took to make you feel even marginally better, and the other survivors that you have met along the way who have so honestly shared their stories with you. Where would you be without them? You learn to embrace each person in your life – old and new, family, friends and potential friends – in a totally different way than ever before. And so you live passionately and love fiercely. All the time remembering always that
· Right Now -
· > -somebody is thinking of you.
· > -somebody is caring about you.
· > -somebody misses you
· > -somebody wants to talk to you.
· > -somebody wants to be with you.
· > -somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
· > -somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
· > -somebody wants to hold your hand.
· > -somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
· > -somebody wants you to be happy.
· > -somebody wants you to find him/her.
· > -somebody is celebrating your successes.
· > -somebody wants to give you a gift.
· > -somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
· > -somebody loves you.
· > -somebody admires your strength.
· > -somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
· > -somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
5. Make the most of every day
· While cancer can be all consuming, it really is a notice that this isn’t DRESS REHEARSAL. SO – Make the most of every day. Easier said than done RIGHT? WRONG. Every day that GOD gives you is a present. EVERY DAY. So, you play cards with new friends in the chemo lab, reach out to a new patient who is clearly frightened by their first visit, take the time to listen – really listen to your children’s stories, hopes, dreams, and fears.
· Find a way to give BACK – Join a support group where you can help others by listening and offering encouragement. We have started two here in Corning. One is called Supportive Care – a sponsorship program to reach newly diagnosed patients at the earliest possible opportunity with the hope of making their journey a little less frightening if only by giving them a new friend who listens. We can all use more friends. Maybe you would like to become a public advocate – join relay for life, race for the cure, 3 day walk. Talk to others about testing and treatment, paying attention to your body, and working towards being healthier.
· Make your mark on life and make your life count.
· Thank you.